Benefits of Aloha LivingNovember 17, 2017
Life Is All About The Little ThingsDecember 1, 2017
No one teaches you how to deal with pain. Maybe your parents do when you're much younger, and you experience your first heartache. I'm not talking about that kind of pain. I am talking trauma, sickness, depression. The moments that try to suck everything out of us, sometimes succeeding. Meet Grief. Grief meet your enemy Perseverance, and finding the willingness to lean on others when you're not strong.
I hope you don't experience the worst of it until you're much older, but that is simply not in the cards for everyone. My Mom and Dad surely taught me how to live by example, and I did just that after I lost my Nana and later my Gramps. I followed their lead on how to cope, and remember the happier times. You grieve together. As a family unit, because often that is the only way you get through.
Let me just tell you about my Dad. He is my look alike and confidant, being similar in more ways than one. John and I just had the pleasure of hosting him in Hawaii for Thanksgiving. I love nothing more than having our family and friends here to witness this beautiful place we are blessed to call home. What is special about my Dad is how much he cares. He has done every and anything from playing with dolls with his only child when he was a stay-at-home dad, to taking father-daughter trips with me to introduce adventure, to waking up crazy early just to drive me to the train station so I don't have to catch a cab alone. The love and devotion between my parents was a testament to time, and their beautiful marriage. I am the luckiest to be his daughter!
During this journey, my Dad and I have leaned on each other a lot. It was especially needed in the beginning stages of our grief. I didn't know how to pass the time, how to anywhere near our home without getting terribly sad and then angry. I did not know how to be myself. We both lost the best person, and puzzle piece to our family. My Dad, John, and I have worked through those really shitty days with love, compassion, and an understanding of figuring out how to move forward without my Mom next to us. My heart is always grateful for them, their patience, and dedication to remind me to smile. None of us will ever be the same. I realize that, but I must continue to make my Mom proud by doing this dance. It is time to put my best and bravest face on, seizing each day.
Lean on others when you're not strong. It has helped me survive those terribly painful days that come and go. Lean on your family, lean on your friends, lean on me, or someone you just met. There is no limit, for you know best. It starts with your willingness to let others in to help. It will never make things better, but I promise it will make things easier. We all grieve, and we must remember we have each other.