Life Is All About The Little ThingsDecember 1, 2017
The Beauty Behind TraditionsDecember 15, 2017
Sometimes it is hard for me to hear “I’m Sorry for Your Loss.” I know it is a genuine gesture, but the phrase is so overused. Please don’t take offense to what I am trying to say, that is not my intention. All of us have said it at some point. I know it is a universal response. But why?
First of all, when someone you love passes away it should not be referred to as a loss. It is quite the opposite. After my Mom passed away I spent so many days reflecting. I thought about memories, laughed about moments, and cried. A lot. As time continues to pass though, I cry less and smile more. Growing up as an only child I spent more time with my parents than many children will ever do. This is something I have also realized over the last sixteen months. I treasure it. Having my favorite person raise me to (hopefully) follow a lot in her footsteps and provide as an example to so many is a GAIN. A huge gain.
Throughout this process I have not suffered loss, I have instead got so much in return. I am more thankful. I realize that life is too darn short. I soak in the little things. I let a lot of love in for others. All of these gains have helped me to grow as a person in my grieving process.
What I recommend is to just think before you speak, or reach out. Extend genuine love and light. Provide comfort if you can relate. You can and will feel sorry and crippled for someone that has to go through this grief. I just ask that you realize it is so much more complicated, and is never deemed as a loss. Please know not reaching out is never the answer. I felt and genuinely needed all of the love that was poured out to me. There are times when you can feel so alone in the grieving process. You need to feel the love of others to help guide and love you through. I know I did.
Grief is a tough subject. Knowing what to do to comfort others in the process can be even more difficult. Be genuine and true. Focus on the good memories, and extend a helping hand when appropriate. Most importantly, just be yourself and be kind. Your kindness is always appreciated, and what all of us need in this long journey!