Love Is All You NeedFebruary 2, 2018
Searching For A New NormalFebruary 16, 2018
When something traumatic happens in your life you are stuck at a crossroad. You often don’t know what to do next. When to pause and take a break, when to find the energy to power through and keep on fighting, or when to break down knowing it may never be okay. Is there a guide for all of this? Unfortunately not. Some days I really wish there were. We are all human, and very different in the way we live our lives.
Fighting for energy was something that I battled with in the beginning of my journey with my Mom. I would wake up from my nightmare time and time again, realizing it was reality. What’s next? I have no energy for that, sorry. Nothing was next...I was lucky to be able to think about any day in the future, because I was still having a really tough time grasping the present.
I tried to keep myself busy, as I still do. It is one of the most valuable pieces of advice you can take away from me, and my journey. I promise, it helps so much.
Energy is a weird thing, because even though I quit my job after everything happened, I still lacked every bit of energy. Every bit of normalcy, and for many days I lacked every bit of joy. Surprisingly, I never had night terrors or too many issues with sleep. It was once I woke up...I didn’t want to stay up. A part of me wanted to stay in my bed every minute of the day, so I didn’t have to face the reality of how the hell I was to go through life without my #1.
You may think I always seem to be this happy and enthusiastic little blonde, I wish. I'm human, so deep down I am not always happy. I worry, a lot. There are energy suckers in life like anxiety, planning too much for the future, and just over thinking in general. I would say I possess all of those traits on a weekly basis. Fighting for energy is what keeps me going, the type of energy that attracts others, and makes them want to hear my story.
The energy that lets all of you know that YOU are a rockstar. I know it, and believe it. Sometimes it just takes a little longer for you to do the same- you are your toughest critic. You need to feel it. You need to look at yourself in the mirror, feeling the energy that you want to encompass and push through the toughest days. Fight for it.
You can be the best version of yourself, giving it your all. Fighting for energy. You’ll need it to continue to prevail, to conquer your battles with confidence and to lead as an example to us all.
Remember, you are always stronger than you think.